A Hotdog Story
by instant anarchy
Summary: THIS IS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SET IN MODERN TIMES! ANACHRONISMS ABOUND! Otherwise, it's just about Ike, Reyson, Oscar, Soren, and Ranulf getting hotdogs.


"HOTDOGS! Get your hotdogs here!!!!"

On a walk with a few of his friends, Ike noticed a hotdog stand in the street.

"HOTDOGS! Get your hot—OH MY GOSH! Ike! Hi!"

Noticing who the shopkeeper was, Ike stopped dead in his tracks. He practically dove behind Oscar to keep from being seen.

"Um, Ike?" asked Oscar. He didn't notice who was selling the hotdogs because his glasses weren't back from the shop yet and he didn't recognize the voice.

Ike lowered his voice to try to be as discreet as possible. "It's… Aimee…"

"Oh. Of course."

"I'll handle it," Soren said, turning to the hotdog stand. "Hello, Aimee. Nice to see you." He did not change facial expressions. Aimee scowled.

"You think you're so great. It feels wonderful hanging out in Ike's arms all the time. Doesn't it, Soren."

"Yes it does, and I rest easy knowing that you will never have that privilege."

"Oh! You little- You did NOT just go there! Well, I've made up my mind. No hotdogs for you."

"All right then." Soren smirked. "IKE! She says she won't sell me any hotdogs! She's discriminating!"

"Well, we are never coming to THIS hotdog stand ever again!"

"Well, fine! But I hope you realize that means your hotdog supply will be substantially diminished!"

Just as she spoke those words, another trailer showed up on the same street. Two young men got out of the trailer. The blond one put up the sign: "TWINS HOT DOGS" The brown-haired one put a menu in the window. Then they both got back into the trailer and began to introduce their shop. "My name is Daniel," said the blond one.

"No, I'm Daniel!" said the brown-haired one.

"What!? Then who am I?"

"You're Jorge!"

"It's so hard being a twin. I always get confused."

Upon seeing this bizarre display, and also seeing the "TWINS HOT DOGS" sign, Ike and Ranulf walked over.

"Jorge, what the heck is up with you? I thought you of all people knew who was who in the set of twins," Ranulf asked.

Jorge grinned. "It's part of a stand-up comedy routine. We have other jobs in between"-he said, gesturing towards the "TWINS HOT DOGS" sign-"but in our spare time we do comedy shows."

Daniel added (unnecessarily) "I'm the straight man."

Ike joked, "I'm not."

"I should say so!" Ranulf agreed.

"Well, anyway!" Jorge continued. "This is our fantastic hotdog stand. I take all the complaints (if any) and Daniel deals with special orders. If you just want a regular type hotdog, either one of us would deal with it."

"That is, if we aren't already busy with another customer. But hey, you know, the wait isn't that long."

Ranulf said, "We would like … three hotdogs?"

Ike replied, "Four."

Ranulf said, "Four hotdogs."

Ike said, "With hot sauce. On just one of them."

Daniel started making the hotdogs. Jorge said, "Once these are all out, it's $6.75."

Ike said, "All right. Here."

Jorge counted up the money and said, "Thank you, come again. Good-by now."

Ranulf laughed. "You know, you're great as a comedian."

"Thanks, but why bring that up now?... Oh, yeah, you don't have your hotdogs yet. Uh, oops."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

Then the hotdogs were cooked and done, so Ike took them back to the other friends.

"It was nice talking to you Soren," Reyson said.

"Yeah. It was… unusual that I felt like talking to you, but… I guess I'm glad I'm getting to know you better."

"Hotdog time!" Ranulf shouted.

"Why are there four?" Soren asked. "Only three people will eat them."

"No, four people will eat," Ike replied.

"But Reyson's a vegan!"

"Exactly. There's four here, not five."

"…Oh!! You can't make me eat that!"

"I can make you eat anything with a little strategy."

He then proceeded to lick the hotdog all over.

"You… are you going to eat the rest of it?"

"I have my own."

"Then… I stand corrected… You can make me eat it…"

He took the hotdog from Ike's hand. Ranulf snickered. "Oh, that is MUSHY!"

Soren glared at Ranulf.

The five of them walked on. Reyson muttered, "I sense an idiot approaching."

"What?" asked Oscar.

Reyson continued, "Someone who doesn't like Ike. She's coming nearer…"

At Reyson's warning, Micaiah strolled over across the street to get some hotdogs.

A devilish grin spread across Ike's face.

"Hey Micaiah!"

"Oh. Ike. Hello! I was just on my way to get some hotdogs from Aimee…"

"Oh, no need! I have an extra hotdog right here," he said, holding up his hotdog (drenched in hot sauce); "and it is absolutely covered in ketchup!"

"Oh boy!" Micaiah shouted with glee. "I love ketchup!"

"It's all yours," Ike could barely contain his laughter.

Micaiah took a bite of the hotdog. One bite was enough. She shrieked, the spicy sauce exciting and burning her tongue. "THAT'S SPICY!!"

Ike, Soren, Reyson, Ranulf, and Oscar all collapsed into laughter.

"That- That- That's so mean! I don't know what Sothe sees in you!"

Soren stopped laughing. "Wait… Sothe…? Sothe?! Ike, I… I thought… I thought I was the only one…"

"You are! What about Sothe, now?" Ike asked, perplexed.

"Well, you really should hear some of the things he says about you. And I swear, he's ALWAYS talking about you! If he wasn't also talking about me about one-fifth of the time, in between his raves about you, I swear, I think he would drive me crazy. Well he does drive me crazy, but in a good way. But not while he's always talking about you! I mean it's like, seriously! He just NEVER shuts up! Ever. He goes on and on and on and on and on about how great you are. It's almost like he never stops, even to take a breath!"-Micaiah, at this point in the speech, took a pause for breath-"And another thing. Have you noticed that that boy who's always with you is a LOT like Sothe? I mean, even their name. I mean, it's like, five letters long, starts with an 'S-O', has an E later in it but that's not the middle letter. Also, the way that you and him met was like EXACTLY the same as how Sothe and I met, and their hair matches their clothes, and they're both incredibly cynical, and I guess I don't blame them considering the lives they've had."

"That was… lengthy."

"I forgot to mention…"

"Good-by now."

Fini


End file.
